Yesterday, I had a really hard day. It was one of those “if it can go wrong, it will” kind of days. I felt frustrated and overwhelmed. I woke up feeling organized and hopeful as I had planned the day with lists and woken up hours before the kids to get a head start. It was all downhill from there!
There was an important call that needed to happen and I was unable to get ahold of the lady ever. I took my oldest son to a doctor’s appointment and brought Miss Optimism with me so that I could take her to the Lab afterwards to get her blood work done in time for her specialist appointment this Thursday. In the doctor’s office, we waited almost 2 hours to get into our SCHEDULED appointment! This meant that I no longer had time to go to the Lab and get back in time for when the sitter had to leave. We also didn’t have time to stop and get the groceries I needed because the sitter had to leave earlier than expected. My plans did not go as planned!
On the way home, I stopped by the pizza parlour where I had organized a field trip for our local homeschool group for this Thursday just to firm up some details. It turns out that the person I had been speaking to did not have the authority to okay the field trip and they cannot accommodate such a large group. I had to come home and let everyone who had RSVPd know that the field trip I had organized and they had rearranged their lives for is cancelled. I was embarrassed.
I am in the middle of having to confront my clutter head-on as I attempt to find receipts for doing our taxes. Up to now, most of my paperwork clutter has been piled in the office, door shut behind me as I try to forget that I can no longer see the office floor or walk in there. I am now forced to confront that paperwork and sort through it. Looking at it reminds me of just how disorganized I am. This is a picture of my living room floor yesterday as I attempted to sort some of it. There is at least double this amount of paper still in the office waiting to be sorted…
I felt like a complete failure. I was also sure that all the other moms out there, wives out there, homeschoolers out there, women out there were doing a much better job of this than I was.
And then I was going through some of my old blog posts and adding images to them (because Pinterest wasn’t around back when I wrote the posts) and I came across something. I had written something called Perception of Perfection a year and a half ago and reading it yesterday helped so much. Reading the comments is what helped the most. In the comments, there was a common refrain. I am not the only one who struggles with feeling like I am not enough. So today, if you have time, go and read the post and be sure to read the comments. I am not the only one who feels this way. You are not the only one who feels this way.
Even though I need a lot of reminding and even a year and a half later, I am still having these same issues, I am enough. I am God’s beloved daughter and therefore, I am enough.
