1. I’ve never been to a blogging conference before. Most of the ones I’ve looked into have hundreds or thousands of attendees which does not appeal to me in the least so I’ve never wanted to go until I heard about BEECH. There will only be 80 attendees. I wanted to go but didn’t think it would be possible. Now it is and I’m going. But I worry. Having never gone, I don’t know what to expect.
2. I don’t know what to wear. I know this one sounds silly or vain but I’m just being real! I know it says “business casual” but what I’d really like is for someone to come look through my closet and say “yah” or “nay” to my options. Outfitting myself has never been my strong suit (pun not intended)!
3. I’m just little old me. I mean that literally and figuratively. Though I’m not that old, I am little. At only 5 feet tall, it can be intimidating being around average heighted individuals. And I’m just me…I have this vision of all the other women going as being secure, beautiful, tall, confident, successful, driven people who know what they’re doing. Which brings me to my next point…
4. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t have an elevator pitch (yet), have never marketed myself or my blogs to brands (and the BEECH sponsors are an incredible group of companies who would be a dream to work with), and as of this minute, have not yet written down my goals. That one will change as I plan to write out my goals for the weekend later this afternoon.
5. I am not prepared. I didn’t have business cards made but after some scrambling and quick designing (not my strongest point), I will be picking some up Wednesday afternoon before I fly out Wednesday night. I also have not packed. I need a haircut but won’t have time to get one. My list of things to do is a page long and I have a day and a half before I leave. I know I will forget many things or wish that I had brought others that I didn’t even think to bring.
6. I’ve never been on a plane by myself. I have flown with a baby or two as the only adult, but somehow, even having a baby made me feel less alone. This flying by myself through the night, transferring planes in two huge airports and arriving somewhere I’ve never been is a bit unnerving.
7. I feel insecure. In places where I am comfortable and know people, I am confident. Standing in front of a room full of strangers speaking about adoption, I am hardly nervous. I am actually pretty energized. But thinking of going to a blogging conference with the chance to meet with representatives from awesome brands and the opportunity to meet these blogging women who in my mind have it all together and suddenly, I feel about ready to throw up. All my insecurities rush to the forefront.
8. I’m scared I won’t fit in. I feel like I am in junior high all over again, about to go to the school dance and wondering if I will sit on the bleachers all night wishing a boy would ask me to dance. What if no one talks to me? What if everyone knows each other and I feel like I am standing on the sidelines, left out?
9. I’m comparing myself and coming up short. My blogs are mini blogs in the grand scheme of the internet. I’m sure they have higher traffic than some, but they are by no stretch of the imagination “mega blogs” and I am not a mega blogger. I’m sure in reality, some of the other people going to this blogging retreat are in the same place as me, but in my mind, they are all tech-savvy, writer extraordinaire, mega bloggers who are way out of my blogging league.
10. It will go by too quickly. This worry doesn’t seem to fit in with all the rest, but I love learning and there are going to be sessions and keynote speakers that I am sure I will learn so much from. I’m worried that the weekend will go by too quickly before I have the chance to soak it all in. I want to come home inspired and renewed and more knowledgeable and I know that if I am able to get past all of my other fears and actually get on that plane, before I know it, this blogging conference will be over and behind me. I hope there is time to meet as many people as I can and learn as much as I can in such a condensed amount of time. I don’t want to waste such an incredible opportunity and I do feel blessed to be going.
If I can conquer all my fears and don’t chicken out, I will let you how it went!